I’m rereading a book I read when I was about 16, The Catcher in the Rye. If you took refuge in books as a teenager, then you probably know about Holden Caulfield and his beef with ‘phonies’; they were mostly adults, and they were mostly bullshitting him. If your parents or the adults in your […]
Category: Mental health
Wake up call
‘You can’t beat death/ but you can beat death in life, sometimes’ How cool is this? Charles Bukowski wrote it in 1993. He died in 1994, at the age of 74. A friend sent his poem The Laughing Heart to me this morning, and it illuminated a sentence, or instruction, that has been reverberating around […]
Seek and ye shall find
I love that quote from Rumi: What you seek is seeking you. When you hear it, your heart relaxes a little. You stop trying to shove the smudgy roundness of yourself, edges all blurred from life’s sweet and shocking other plans, into a stark square of expectation. It means that you don’t have to strive […]
Big life
In another life, I lived on a tiny island called La Maddalena. One summer evening, the heady scent of wild gorse in the air, I flew around the island on the back of a friend’s scooter. ‘Che vuoi fare da grande?’ he yelled into the sea-fresh wind, thousands of tiny stars twinkling in the sky […]
Brain problems
It’s so predictable. Your brain will tell you in a thousand different ways all the reasons why it’s a great idea not to do something that is good for you. Take writing this post now, for example. My brain is being super helpful this morning. Honestly, it’s really cheering me on, lobbing uplifting ditties such […]
Doctor, doctor
One thing worse than being a hypochondriac is being a hypochondriac who has been diagnosed with a major health problem. I don’t know that meditation helps with this, so I’m not going to talk about being plugged into the universe or finding peace within yourself. I’m going to talk about how bloody annoying it is. […]
Halos and hailstones
We can be saved in tiny ways every day by people we meet, even just once. Five years ago, a month after the birth of my first son, I was saved like this by a midwife at the Coombe hospital. I’d had four weeks of steadily worsening mental health. I knew a lot about depression […]
All these things are things
So: prenatal depression is a thing. Prenatal anxiety is also a thing. Postnatal depression, tick, that’s a thing. And pregnancy and postnatal OCD. Postnatal anxiety, yep. Postnatal post-traumatic stress disorder, yes, that is also a thing. Some women are also diagnosed with bipolar mood disorders for the first time during pregnancy or the postnatal period. […]
Talking about it
Just so you know, if you are reading this and in the grips of a frightening mental illness, then you need to go to a doctor. If they don’t take you seriously, then go to another doctor. Meditation is not going to work when your brain is being throttled by depression, or anxiety, or OCD, […]
Moles
There is a distinctly non-spiritual reason why I decided to start meditating every day. I read that meditation can give you deeper rest than sleep. For four years, I had been either pregnant or breastfeeding. I was tired and needed more rest. I’m not a morning person anyway and now brutal, unasked for dawns invaded […]